Self-Opening Popups, a UX Fuckup

Have you ever experienced this? You mind your own business, open an app to do something you have in mind, only to be greeted with a popup. Not only this is a distraction, it also isn't a good solution overall. I've accidentally closed them more times than I've seen what they should have presented. And now that I've closed it, I have no clue whatsoever what was that about. I think I've gotten used to this, so much so that my first knee jerk reaction is to do a quick back gesture, before any nonsense appears on my screen. A bit better solution is to make 'em closeable only through specific buttons: a call to action and a designated close button. This still sucks big time, because I could've forgotten what I wanted to do with your darned app. It's still a distraction, and now even a more annoying one. Please don't do this. Don't ever open shit without user promoted action. Ever. What to do instead? Buy a nice acre of screen land, and place your shit there, on the freaking page. There you go. On that note, stop fucking asking me three consecutive permissions upon app open, which you aren't going to use right this moment. Even if these permissions are necessary for the intended action, improvise and stop with the fucking popup prompts out of nowhere.